After watching the military segment on GMA today, I recalled my husband’s first homecoming. The anticipation of him returning, the emails and calls of how he missed the kids and I. The moment we seen him march into the gym with the other soldiers. The pride I felt for my hero, my heart was complete again. He pulled me in close, held me tightly, and told me he loved me. Little did I know, the secrets he was hiding.
I told him to leave. Found more crap. He will not change. I need to take care of me and my kids. Will life be hard? Yes, but I can do it. Hopefully. Please wish me luck, i have no support. In a few hours I am going to his command and telling them I am done and I want to leave ASAP. This environment is too toxic.
Today I put my ring back on. Only because the ring I put in its place went missing. My ring doesn’t have to same meaning as it did the day we got married. Now it means broken vows, betrayal, and heartache. I am sad about this.
He expects me to forget everything and he goes about like nothing ever happened. He wants to stay married, but not do any type of counseling.
Since we are a military family, we will be moving this year. I don’t know yet what I am going to do. Everything is confusing and emotional.
Next month is our 11th anniversary. Last year we were supposed to renew our vows, but didn’t. I don’t know how to feel about this year.
*edit…I am not going to bring up our anniversary And I couldn’t keep my ring on. I found the replacememt ring. He doesn’t even say anything about that. He still wears his ring. I just wonder if he wore it while cheating. Then again, what does it matter?
Husband has been in a pissy mood the past few weeks. Getting mad at everybody for any little thing. The kids and I are stressed out. Im tired.
I had the baby three weeks ago. Inconvenient for him because he was working long days and I started having contractions when he was already in bed for the night. Long story short, I end up having the baby alone. He fell asleep in the car (so he says) when he left the delivery room to get the charger for his iPhone. I guess I should be careful what I wish for because I did end up alone.
I labored alone and had the baby alone in a room full of nurses and doctors. When he did finally show up, I couldn’t look at him, I was disgusted. Few days later I told him how I felt about him not being there for me and his answer was “…thats what the medics are for.” This just confirms my feelings about him. He is losing his family and he doesn’t care.
I hate the situation the kids and I are in. I hate my husband for being selfish. I really need to focus and figure out if fighting for my family is worth it. I am beginning to think the kids and I can have a better life without him.
Our family has been through enough. I want my kids to be happy. I want to be happy. Why doesn’t my husband want the same things? How can he throw us away like garbage?