Sh*t keeps getting better and better…

Not only does my stupid husband look for filth on back pages and craiglists, he specifically looks for ts girl escorts/prostitutes/hookers. How do I deal with this? I text or call the numbers I find on the phone bill and they all say he paid me, he called me. Blah blah blah. Ok, I get that, but have some respect for wives and kids. They know he is married. My husband is f*cked up!

My emotions are everywhere. Perhaps it’s the pregnancy. I have so much built up anger waiting to be released. My dumbf*ck husband, why?! What is wrong with you? How do you look in the mirror and justify this shit? How do you go to sleep at night, and next to me, like it is nothing? How are you not sorry? How do you go about each day lying to yourself?

He says he will stop, he does for a while then he is at it again. I tried to get him to go to marriage counseling. We went for a few non helpful sessions. He says we don’t need it, we can help ourselves. Well obviously, right?!

He is military, so he has to uphold his image. He does a good job at that. I am often told by his leadership how “high speed” he is. Um, ok. For his family he is a shitbag. If they only knew. He texts and calls the filth during work hours. Today I hate him. Tomorrow? I don’t know.

Update: I drop him off at work after breakfast and he is mad that he can’t take one of our vehicles. I don’t trust him to use vehicles that we put our kids in. I don’t want hooker germs in the cars! He doesn’t get it.

Then he acts like he doesn’t know what types of prostitutes he is contacting. He doesn’t want me texting him, yet it is ok for him to send text after text to these people. He tells me “how can I get work done with your half page texts.” How can he get work done when all he does is text trash?! And one claims to be 19 years old, I doubt he/she (idk what they are) is.

I am livid! The ass says in text to me that he is tired of hearing this shit from me! He messed up, not me! He is f*cking around, not me! He is back and forth, texts me that he is sorry (texts not verbally) and that he is an idiot.

I am fed up. Do I inform his chain of command and risk my kids future or do I “deal with it?” My life is very depressing. He refuses counseling, “everything will be fine.” He says we don’t need it.

I have a few more weeks in this high-risk pregnancy (very long story), the stress is too much!  


2 thoughts on “Sh*t keeps getting better and better…

  1. fenix

    you’re asshole sounds like my asshole – he told me yesterday that he “really” doesn’t feel like he’s had done anything wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! of course he is still denying anything other than responding to her explicit messages but I even wonder if that’s the truth

  2. p0rnaddictswife

    So sorry you are dealing with this. I can understand how particularly devastating it can be when one’s husband seeks out ts/crossdressing/fetish acting out. That has always been my husband’s choices. I wish you strength on the arduous, painful, yet rewarding journey. You will learn more about yourself than you ever thought. It’s hard when you are in the throes of this to remember that it is not about or a reflection of you. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it. You have to do what is necessary to keep yourself safe, sane, and stable. There are resources out there and even if he chooses not to get help, you can help yourself and your kids.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s